These Advice shared by A Dad That Saved Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"I believe I was just trying to survive for the first year."

Former reality TV star Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the difficulties of becoming a dad.

However the truth quickly became "utterly different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Abruptly he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver while also caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every change… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan shared.

Following eleven months he burnt out. That was when a talk with his father, on a park bench, that led him to understand he couldn't do it alone.

The simple words "You aren't in a healthy space. You require some help. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His story is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. While society is now more accustomed to addressing the stress on mothers and about PND, less is said about the struggles new fathers face.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a broader failure to talk between men, who still hold onto harmful notions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It isn't a display of being weak to ask for help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to accept they're struggling.

They can think they are "not justified to be asking for help" - especially ahead of a new mother and infant - but she emphasises their mental well-being is equally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a pause - going on a couple of days overseas, separate from the family home, to see things clearly.

He came to see he required a change to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions alongside the logistical chores of taking care of a newborn.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will see as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotional life and understand his parenting choices.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences caused his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says suppressing feelings resulted in him make "poor decisions" when younger to change how he felt, turning in alcohol and substances as a way out from the anguish.

"You turn to behaviours that are harmful," he says. "They may briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Advice for Managing as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling swamped, speak to a family member, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like yourself before having a baby. This might be exercising, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical health - nutritious food, physical activity and when you can, resting, all play a role in how your emotional health is coping.
• Connect with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the challenges, as well as the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that requesting help is not failure - prioritising yourself is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead give the safety and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - managing the emotions safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their struggles, transformed how they communicate, and figured out how to control themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… dealing with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, sometimes I think my role is to instruct and tell you how to behave, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning an equal amount as you are in this journey."